Hopelessly Stuck in the Victim Mode?

I often ask former JWs if they know what group is worse than Jehovah’s Witnesses. It generally takes two or three guesses before the person gives up. When I tell them it is: ex-Jehovah’s Witnesses, they smile and appear to get it.

Why is that?

Because many ex-JWs are hopelessly stuck in the victim mode, even many long years after they have left the black-and-white world. They spend way too much time playing the “whose fault it is” game, instead of taking responsibility. What are they going to do about the reality that they have been in a cult, yes, in a long-term abusive relationship?

It’s not always easy and many ex-JWs would benefit from time well-spent with a qualified therapist or counselor, who understands how cults unduly influence its members. A good reminder to the fact that it is our responsibility, the following short-and-sweet video by Will Smith is a classic wake-up call.



Hopelessly Stuck in the Victim Mode? — 17 Comments

  1. I am a victim of JWs . But I discovered that there is life after their “death stroke” I was “df’d” in 1994 . I was an elder for 10 years . I lost most of my family through the 20 year ordeal in the organization . A third of a fourth of my life is pretty much lost because of the JW idiology . . .

  2. I was a victim of severe abuse within the organisation, but now I’m a warrior. I survived all that. I use that energy to type on my blog, hoping to help other ex Jw’s on the path to recovery. I am not ashamed to say that when I was broken I received help from a Cognitive Behavioural Therapist and it helped immensely for me to heal. I am getting stronger everyday.

  3. hhhmmmm thats what happen to people who love jehovha physically not spritually ….. why are you still posting about jws if yu are free …. we are going to see if the bible is wrong …. the only thing that i love for being one of jw is we dont take things from people but exctely from the bible and i love jehovha cause he showed me the way through jw …….. you xjw you love life of the world you love that kinder life .. i feel sorry for you but im saying us jw we love what we are doing whether you open how many website or what we wont stop and no one can stop us …… proudly jw mwaaaaaa i love my life

    • Ryan…you … Approve of childern being abused in Jws…Families being broken apart by shunning policies…people commiting suicide because they can not go on being shunned by family and friends…you approve of Jws claiming charitable status, when they are a very rich religion…Even Jesus said…” Pay back Ceasars things to Ceasar”… we are to obey laws of the land…report pedophiles to proper authorities, not the elders who do nothing but stick all disgusting filth under the Jw rug…be careful…one day as you walk along…you may trip on it and see….under the rug…:(. For now enjoy…one day the bubble you live in may…Pop! Voila…;). No need to feel sorry for us who have left…feel sorry for yourself and all who continue to be controlled slaves of…Jw.org. Jesus also said…”You will know the truth and the truth will set you free”…. As one of Jwts…you are not free…they dictate to you…EVERYTHING! Shackles and chains….= Jw.org

    • Do you realize what you are saying??? What is the WT org? if not a succession of MEN, PEOPLE WHO are working for power, control over others and having JWs people sacrifice for the profiteers, stock holders etc. in and out of organization. What do do really know about the Bible and BIBLE STORIES not interpreted by “THE MEN” the anointed, now less in the governing body.
      Whole organization including its mind control: read, think, speak, do and do not associate with individuals not witnesses etc. and the abuses-sexual, physical, mind etc, etc.Why proportionately are there more Jehovah’s Witness youths treated for mental disorders, sent to the mental health organizations of the world? or have committed suicide compared to non witnesses?
      Comment of Sharon Christensen below ditto better summarized. Appreciate the t rue positive views. Thank you all

    • Ryan. Good point you bring out but if you say as a JW “You love what you are doing and that is ok” However if you love and follow the JW life why are you looking on this “APOSTATE ” web site and other Websites? We all know the GB is adamantly against that and they write about it and how it is Influenced by Satan and APOSTATES are from Satan according to the WT “. So why do you go to these sir tes since it is banned to do so? You are breaking the JW rules and the rules of the GB.

  4. Will Smith speaks his truth very well. It really helped me find a therapist who understood how cults work. I asked my family doctor to help. I worked with the therapist for quite a few years and it helped a lot. In the end, I had to learn a new belief system. I had to REPLACE harmful, hurtful beliefs with something beneficial. That is the key to health and vital well-being.

    • You owned up to your responsibility in a big way, Santinka. Congratulations.

  5. What does not kill you makes you stronger…? For many of us yes…sadly for some, not such the case…and we feel for these…we do not have to choose to be victims all of our life…we can feel for those and help those who still feel such. Wiser thru all we went thru…yes. No wool being pulled over these eyes…not enough tape to shut this mouth! No fear, don’t care who or what.

  6. I’m confused and not sure what to do I’ve been brought up a jw and really don’t get my questions answered just told if u don’t understand something just have faith and accept I’m not even sure I believe in a god now. Reading other people’s experiences helps so thank you

    • Hi Sally…my advice…do not give on believing in God…but give up trusting Jw.org…their devious, dishonest, selfish, crooked,etc. ways have turned sooo many away from God…sad for sure. Sooo much info on utube, etc…keep searching and learning…you will have many friends in the exJw community…there is also all kinds of different sites that Ex Jws are on …I can’t keep up with my utube wtching…never got to the other sites yet..On my own journey to freedom from Jw.orgy…welcome aboard…:)))

    • Yes! Sharon Christensen, again. Knock, Seek, Ask and IT, knowledge will be opened to you, find, given. I have found much information and experiences a on God by comparing knowledge of the truth in other religions (some good in all and questionable) serious thinkers, writers past and present. Spirituality! God is a Spirit to be worshiped in Spirit ( in harmony with God’s revealed Spirit (activities) and ways—especially in treating fellow humans without partiality and all creation and life as loaned and to be cared for as able, to do GOOD AND NO HARM.

    • god Jehovah not even an honest representation of YHWH, The Book to Bible Understanding (blue book replaced by two green ones of Wt publication0, omitted the fact the Jehovah, the word started in the 1700s plus. So how could Hebrew writers and Jesus have used it as stated in their translations? Too many lies promoted to keep witnesses in their ENLIGHTENED power.

    • Well sorry to hear you are not sure you still believe in God. Because it is to him and his son you are responsible not WATCHTOWER. As long as people believe that to please God they must please WT then they practice idolatry having put WT on equal status with God, even though WT claims it is not.

      If you can start to understand WT is not God’s sole spokesman on earth then your feelings about God will be separated from your feelings about WT. And to keep following God those feelings will have to be separate. Because as you have already started to investigate WT on your own and continue to do so you will discover WT proves false to that claim.

      But if you can separate those feelings and want to follow God he will help you. And he will have some of us do that also. But believe that God himself will. You see he even goes as far as still contacting some people in our day when they need it. Whether he does that to you or not I can’t say. But I know God. I know he will help you if you believe in him.

      WT’S biggest sin is contributing to the destruction of faith in some of its members. For that it will be destroyed. WT will have no part in the New World. Be careful as WT has had that effect of almost destroying your faith. My last suggestion is to stop asking those close to you who are Jehovah’s Witnesses for Bible answers. They are misdirected.

      Best wishes!!!

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