Exposing the Watchtower’s Flawed Domestic Violence Policy

You may find it difficult to imagine that in these modern times that anyone could believe that a wife, “a lowly woman,” should be subservient to an abusive husband. Not only that, but should he decide to do her bodily harm, would any reasonable person suggest that she should “shine God’s love on him” by humbly taking whatever he dishes out – and do it without complaint? Can you imagine that observers would justify his actions by suggesting “it was likely her fault because she probably did something to provoke his anger…”?

Anyone with critical thinking skills would find that notion to be totally absurd – especially now that we are well into the 21st Century. Unfortunately, the reality is that this is precisely what the Watchtower Society admonishes over 7 million Jehovah’s Witnesses to do in these situations.

No one has articulated the absurdity of that notion better than Mickey Hudson. Using her pseudonym “Danmera,” Mickey created a classic YouTube video that capsizes any thoughts that this horrendous Watchtower policy has the best interests of its members in mind, or that justification for such abuse would be supported by any reasonable secular or religious standards.

We dare you to watch this video and not feel outrage. “Danmera” speaks from her heart and willingly shares her own personal experiences. You’ll understand why she has intimate and specific knowledge about the Watchtower’s flawed policy on dealing with domestic violence. Like many Jehovah’s Witnesses, she was both a victim of domestic violence and Watchtower policy.

A recent viewer of this video left this comment: “You cannot help but well up with emotion and cry when you watch and listen to this video; it definitely hit home for me!”

You’ll note that there are pauses during the video when Danmera gets very emotional. And yet she stays on track by showing how the Watchtower damages its own credibility by supporting and enforcing these ridiculous policies.

Mickey produced this video in 2012. Even now, as 2014 approaches and politicians and activist groups continue their fight to expand and protect women’s rights worldwide, the Watchtower continues to embrace the wrong side of the domestic violence debate.

Please note: The following videos discuss very adult subjects using occasional strong and descriptive language.

“Danmera” (Mickey Hudson) describes how the Watchtower deals with reports of domestic violence…

In a followup video, Danmera responded to some of the comments she received…


Exposing the Watchtower’s Flawed Domestic Violence Policy — 29 Comments

    • It’s been a while since I watched the vid, I forgot I added Nov 5, 2017. Nov 5 comes from the movie V is for Vendetta. Fighting against information control. A lot of ex-members of mind control groups, use his mask for instance.
      2017, is just a date. Kind of a prediction for the end of the WT. However, not claiming to be prophets, if it doesn’t happen, we will have a big BBQ and welcome JWs. Provide a different kind of “meat in due season”
      It’s kind of like a battle cry. It’s what I felt when I made the video.

  1. Thank you for doing this as both my daughter and I were victims of domestic violence when we were married to a witness. My daughter was told to go back to her abuser or be disfelllowshippewd and she took her life. No one told me what was going on until after she was dead. Then 4 years after that I lost everything I owned and had to flee 4,000 miles to protect my life and the elders did nothing to help me but they supported him while I was in a shelter for domestic violence for 6 weeks. My health was ruined and I was dying from the stress. Feb of this year I left the borg but my life will be forever altered.

    • I’m so sorry! They did the same thing to me and my children. My husband was not a JW and I was. My husband lit one of our children’s critch on fire with his cigarette lighter(just burned through his clothes and down to his pubic hair and we smothered it out)for fun, after years of abuse. Our child drank bleach to try and kill himself. The elders supported our abuser. Told me to be more loving and supportive. When I filled for divorce, they asked me to leave the congregation as they wished to support our abuser( a non JW). The end of my marriage marked the start of a additional 2 year nightmare in the congregation.

    • I hope the Cult group mentioned have been following the the Australian Royal Commission (29) into Jehovahs Witnesses

  2. We hurt with you Danmera . All of those elements of the ungodly world will simply hiss away ! If some trace of spiritual intelligence would land on the shoulder of the WTS , and awaken them to their injustices , some of their “headquarters” team may be spared . It’s sad to realize that this “Jehovah’s Organization” has been so wrong . “Too bad , too bad , you Babylon the Great” . . . and we know the rest .

    Thank God for His Son ! . . .
    . . . and for our Father’s comfort through Him .

  3. Perhaps the elder husband was making shepherding calls on the other sisters and hated his wife.
    Check out this tidbit I stumbled upon – another one of their tall tales complete with fabricated, unverifiable sources::

    *** w91 11/15 p. 22 par. 17 “An Overseer Must Be . . . Self-Controlled” ***
    Every hardworking elder must meet the challenge to balance the various demands made upon his time and energy. It takes self-control not to go to one extreme or another. Some elders have been so concerned with the demands of the congregation that they have neglected their families. Thus, when one sister told the wife of an elder about the fine shepherding call he had made on her, the elder’s wife exclaimed: “I wish he would make a shepherding call on me sometime!”—1 Timothy 3:2, 4, 5.

    Juicysteak should meet PAWS on Capitol Hill. We need to raise an eyebrow in Washington.

  4. and the day as a side motion to the goings on in the worlds governments (UN_?) will jump all over the WTS forits abominations and they will scream “persecution–persecution!”

    • Some places have started setting up kiosks, basically books stands. That seems to be replacing the street witnessing. I find it very odd personally. I remember as a kid, street witnessing, and my father saying “we are not a sign, we are here to talk to people”

      The Watchtower has also opened a few storefronts. I know of one in France for instance.

      I too wonder what is going on. They do seem to be following the Scientology business model more and more.

      JWs that you do see out and about witnessing, it seems to me, they are just going thru the motions and they don’t really want to talk to anyone. Even so much as someone walking up to one of the kiosks or booths to ask, “what are you doing” and being told…nothing. It is indeed very strange.

      I’m looking forward to seeing one of those kiosks or booths myself, and ask.

    • I have seen those kiosks and booths already at the entrance of the skytrain or at large gatherings.

  5. My husband s following the teachings of Herbert W Armstrong, which, most people do not hear much about anymore, hide under COG and different names, goes right into the Armstrong library and listens to sermons, other’s connect over the internet and he has all the books and materials from Herbert W Armstrong, I live in a prison instead of a home,I wonder how many women out there are ashamed to admit that this is not a marriage and you are a victim of domestic abuse. It’s hard to say that, and even tell others that, because they never had to live it. You hide it within yourself, they run behind no one can touch them because of religious freedom, so he say’s, it is not religious freedom to abuse your wife. That is not Love your wife, God is love, not harm, manipulation and control, and taunting, and demeaning words of whore, Jezebel, just to name a few.

    • ask your husband why H. son dumped him. Google HWA. I did as I used to listen to their radio program.

    • I do appreciate your advice, I have been gathering up all the information on Herbert W Armstrong founder of Wide World Church Of God”s teaching for years, since my husband kept all of his materials out of site and finally exposed them when my shift changed. Told me he was only reading the bible, until he left a CD out sent by member of the COG, abbreviated Church Of God, with a letter from him attached coming-out of Flordia area. My husband has all his books and correspondence course, He is far and beyond reasoning, he is aware what broke apart the Church after Herbert’s death, even though the false teachings have been exposed and books banned. He’ll just tell you its all lie’s,he’s very defensive over HWA and his teaching’s, my husband is beyond any reasoning. The more you say to bring him into a reality the more he acts out. He becomes more destructive. To the home, my car, my personal items, his threat’s, his way is to summit or else. Once I walked in house early from my job and he had a sermon from HWA blasting though the house with our son inside., remember this well, the temp but of been 100 degrees in home with air turned off and my son upstairs and husband in the cool lower-level practicing his Sabbath Day…..He had the wallpaper ruined up-stairs, upper level had to be repainted, from my husbands continuous destructive behavior., and my son I found him in his room closed door, on his computer with head-phones on. My son is older.Husband took my sons car key after he knew I couldn’t find the spare, for one purpose or the other, and made me and my son tear apart closet’s , rooms , etc looking for it. My car was in shop, I had to take a taxi to work, the cold of winter,the morning of, husband say’s I’m going, far, far, away!! I took apart the large garbage can in garage and found a note husband wrote,all crumbled-up, with these verses from bible with my husband stating on it, “DON”T TOUCH MY STUFF”, husband had misplaced some of his Armstrong sermon’s he has on cd’s and after key was taken he found them, comes up to me and say’s, oh thought you guy’s took my cd’s. Key has never been found. I had to call a lock-smith out to make a key, cost $250.00, with spares.He’d wake me up by whispering in my ear, hearing voices{my name} then repeat hearing voices{My name}, just many things….Summitt or be tortured….. He listen’s to my foot-steps walking upstairs to follow my movements, everything’s their trying to take my salvation….I had a Thanks-giving last year my family, he sat in a chair and just watched everyone, then interrogated me on my son’s guest who was invited. He ??? conversation after conversation….my husband’s extremely paranoid…..I have to ask, even though my husband has all the teaching tools of Armstrong’s mind, and the books are banned, even though certain groups just have but a up-dated cover over the same teaching’s, to control people’s minds, why has not our Homeland securities done something about banning that Herbert W Armstrong library, all these sermon’s need to be put to rest…. Herbert W Armstrong is dead but his teachings are still being put out there for people to have their mind’s ripped away from them., and the innocent victim’s the families harmed and possibly killed, though them making a human time-bomb waiting to explode!!!!

  6. He sounds a nutter. I have no idea what to say. I do know in any country violence toward your spouse or any other person is against the law.
    I used to listen to the radio program by GTA and all those years ago I thought he made some sense. But I have met jw too who have only wt publications, tapes and the rest in their homes. Not a newspaper nor a magazine no hobby material nothing other than the wt line. Obsessed and ignorant.

  7. One time my abusive ex-husband was threatening to kill me with a knife. I told an elder about it, all he did was ask if he had committed adultery! I was stunned, and said I didn’t know. He says, well, there’s nothing you can do about it, then and got up and walked away. Sickos.

    • . Call the police and give the details of the elders response as well. Don’t cover up for the wts.

    • Sorry.. i meant to say how stupid is that the elder asked if he had committed adultery and did not pay attention to your well being!

  8. Bad policies are the result of troubled minds, just as with the police department. I often use the police as an analogy (and they rarely disappoint), lol. Grew up with a guy would eventually go to Bethel come back and become an elder, and eventually become a circuit overseer. Along the way I got word from a sister in his congregation that when she was going through domestic abuse and reported it to the elders (her husband wasn’t a JW) he specifically told her to “Take It” with one or two other elders looking on. I asked him about this and he wasn’t eager to admit it.

    He would do dumb stuff like this to impress the elders he had the right stuff. He would later brag to me how he became an elder, by outing two sisters in the congregation who were roommates as lesbians while in front of the elders. Much also depends on the personality of those elders and servants of any given congregation, I recall on two occasions how we protected 2 spousal abused sisters, one we hid in a hotel and another some of the sisters in our hall moved her out of her house while he was at work (he was a JW and alcoholic).

    A lot of men join because they get the hint about the bloated headship rules, and that sounds good to them. But like the sister in the video said, these guys are living out of time.

    • There is not a week I don’t come across some new terrible thing out of the wts.
      “bloated head–ship rules” such things appeal to men of NO education.

  9. I was raised in this religious cult. I am a survivor of childhood sexual abuse in the name of religion. I left the religion and became a survivor of extreme domestic violence. This abuse has left many deep wounds and scars both physically and mentally that I am still fighting to overcome…..and some would say losing the battle. My family of origin (upbringers) have sent me this very same issue of the WT in an effort to straighten out my thinking…..as they have shunned me for decades but still feel the obligation to preach the good news to me. I threw up for a week straight after reading this. This is NOT LOVE. This is abuse and control. This is all about power. While I hope and pray that I can reclaim the full measure of my own personal power while I am still alive on this earth, I am dedicated to helping everyone and anyone who asks for help in reclaiming theirs. Thank you so much for this post. Keep on going!

    • I feel for you. Counseling helped me. Talking about it, also helped a lot. I was able to see, by talking about it, the shame was not mine.
      You are a survivor, that in itself shows how strong you are. You may not see it or feel it yet, but it’s there.
      I don’t know how long it has been for you, or what help if any you have sought, I would recommend that. I also took some self defense classes, by recommendation, which also helped. I didn’t so powerless. I felt like, if anyone tried to hit me again…I can now kick their butt. Or at least hurt them as much as they were hurting me. It gave me a feeling of having some sort of control.

      I can tell you that today, it’s just a chapter in my book. I no longer have shame or pain with the memories of those days. I honestly feel pity for him. He is a lonely bitter old man, who has no one to blame but himself.
      I got the best revenge, I took my life back, and lived it as well as I could.

    • This advice is profound.
      I was in a uniformed security job for years and I NEVER met a bully who was not a simpering coward. Do the self defence classes learn to hit and thereby defend for even just having the knowledge is incredibly empowering.
      Goju -Ryu!

  10. The advice and support you all write here is most appreciated. I left JW at 15 1/2 yrs old….the same year I was able to be declared an emancipated minor. Fast forward 4 yrs and I was married to a true monster and pregnant with my first child. Seven years later I was able to get out and get on with my life and the world looked hopeful and beautiful for the first time ever. Then a string of tragedies, injuries, illness and getting a PFA to stop the monster from stalking me all within one year sent me spinning down the rabbit hole and every bit of pain, shame, and self loathing came flooding back tenfold along with the memories. I am working very hard in my recovery but I feel as though a black cloud has been attached to my soul….taking away any progress I make by throwing me backwards again. I just signed up for Tim Larkin’s TFT which is a self defense course designed for women like me and my volunteer work helps me immensely. So does being able to talk about how I feel on forums like this…..it offers me a true sense of community support. So “good on you” and keep on going. You are helping me and others more than you know.

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