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So often after leaving the Witnesses, we believe that we are alone. We have left all our Witness friends and family and because we had no one outside, we really feel alone in the world. I know when I left in 1985, I felt very alone.

Some of us had extended family who had never joined the Witnesses or for some who had left before us. We may feel shy about contacting them, especially if we avoided them or even shunned them while we were Witnesses. We may still believe we are required to shun those who left before us. We may feel ashamed about leaving, especially if we were disfellowshipped.

I think though, that we are ignoring a great untapped source of support. Extended family

By Lee Marsh on July 20, 2016

One of the highlights of the International Cultic Studies Association (ICSA) conference that I attended in July 2016 was Lorna Goldberg’s presentation about the unique needs of second generation ex-cult members, which includes ex-Jehovah’s Witnesses. The title of her talk was Some Considerations Working with Former Cult Members.

Lorna was quick to remind her audience that in the ex-cult member community there is a growing awareness about the special needs of second generation ex-cultists (SGAs) – those who were born in or raised in a cult compared to first-generation former cultists (FGAs) – those who joined.

One of the tools I have found very helpful for people exiting a cult who want peace of mind and to find their authentic identity is Karpman’s Drama Triangle.

The Triangle can help people understand their relationship with a spouse, an ex-spouse, a boss, employees, friends, parents, children, neighbors and their church leaders.

In fact, I just shared the Drama Triangle with my local, Ottawa, Canada, ex-JW Meet-Up group to see if they could find uses for it in their lives, and it turned into a lively positive conversation.